Freaking out

Well tomorrow ( or should I say today?) is Isabella's first day of school. It is 1am, I have to be up at 5am and I just can't sleep.

-I have labeled her bookbag, lunchbox and so on.
-I don't even know what else to do with myself. I feel like I am forgetting something.
-I just got back from Wal-Mart ... horrible. I didn't know people wipe out the shelves because school is starting. You can tell I am new at this school thing. You and you learn.
- Her bookbag has to fit a folder. I had put a notebook and figured it was perfect. I was wrong. Folders are bigger than notebook ughhh!!!! Well I shoved the folder in there anyway LOL.
- I already labeled the bookbag with her name and teachers name so there is no returning that one.
-Being a mom is hard.
- I bought the teacher a lot of the stuff that was on her wish list. She better LOVE my daughter.
- Being a mom is hard.
-I bought apples, carrots, bread, jelly, juices, crackers, cheese... what else can I possibly get?
-Being a mom is hard.

I am pooped. Today has been mentally and physically draining.

Goodnight!

I needed some TLC

I love my kids. A lot. I love my kids a lot.

I am the type of mom who kisses her kids almost all day long. Sometimes I wonder if it annoys them... oh well.. it completes me. My husband and I are contantly showering our kids with love. We tell how cute they are, how silly they are, we kiss them, hug them... it's just PERFECT!!!

As an adult now, I don't consider myself to be too close to my brothers (there are 3 of us, I am the only girl of the bunch). I don't hug my brothers or kiss them hello. It's awkward if it even does ever happen. It doesn't even happen on birthdays... and when it does it's hugs from my younger brother who even has to state "Here is the awkward hug".

I want my kids to be different.
I want my kids to be close an feel support from each other.

I miss my brothers a lot and I wish we would have been brought up to hug each other and tell each other I love you. I never hear that from them and sometimes you just need an I love you from someone that you love. I know you really can't choose how your kids will turn out in adulthood, but I am wishing for the best from them. It's just what moms do.

On another note. I have been having a lot of issues with my thyroid like stated previously. It has been completely difficult. The most difficult part has been the mood swings. So today I went to do my hair. I. CUT. IT. ALL. OFF. Yep! I cut all my hair off. It is to my shoulders. I am a half-way blonde too HAHA! I love it. I wonder what my husband will think of it. He prefers my long hair. I really needed this change though. I finally look a bit older, like a mom. Isa's open house is on Friday so it looks mommy perfect!

I need to buy a memory card for my camera. In the meantime here is a phone picture. Of course Isabella has to make silly faces and look away. Typical child lol.

Complete Chaos! aka Hypothyroidism

Have you ever felt like your life was a total mess? That's how I have been feeling lately. My mind is everywhere. I have so much I feel like I need to get done. Isabella is starting her first year in school (prek3), I am starting my Masters, our closets need to be cleaned out a bit... the list goes on, and on, and on.

Sometimes I feel like it's not my life. It's just my condition. I have hypothyroidism and I believe it has brought on many problems aside from my thyroid levels being out of whack!

1. My mind is a mess. I am totally lost half the time. I ask my husband the same question 50 times. I forget almost everything. His reply is "Really babe? You asked me that like 3 times!"
2. I eat and I eat. I get hungry. I feel like im starving. I eat some more. I wake up at 2am and 4am hungry scavenging for food (like a racoon digging through a garbage can).
3. I get anxiety. Lots of it. Lots of palpitations. It's horrible.
4. Headaches
5. Tired. All of the time. I mean sheesh I am a mom of 3 but take that tiredness and multiply it times a gatrillion and that's how I feel. Borderline dead. At the same time I have insomnia sometimes. My body is confused just as much as I am!
6. Depression. Yep it happens. Sometimes I cry for no reason. Sometimes for a good reason. The point is I cry.
7. Irritability. Yes I get angry. Very angry. For no reason. Or maybe there is a reason but it's a stupid reason.
8. My hair just falls out... A lot. I even think my eyebrows are thinning? Not sure.

It is not easy living with hypothyroidism. I am taking medications but I personally feel that either they are not working or HOLY CRAP THIS SUCKS! I feel like I am slowly dying just to sum things up. I feel like I am losing control of my life and I don't know how to gain control back. I have tried "googling" stuff but I just haven't been able to find anything that would help. My next appointment isn't until October to check out my levels. I feel so crazy to the point that I googled up psychiatrists in my area LOL!!! I really feel like a crazy person!

Anyways. Today has been highly unproductive. We have laid in bed, watched T.V, baked cookies, ordered pizza (Isabella's favorite), I washed dishes, bottles... changed diapers, gave baths LOL... the typical mom list goes on. I just feel so drained half of the time. It really sucks.

Well here is some humour!!

Losing my mind

So after looking for my camera for about two weeks, telling myself "I can't believe this blogging thing didn't work out again", and thinking people were secretly sneaking into my house and stealing my stuff... I have concluded I am losing my mind.

Once in a while I try to de-clutter, but the clutter just gathers up again! Life of a mom? Not sure... but yea I'll just blame it on that. Anyways, I am so thankful I found my camera. My husband got it for me to take pictures and I am ready to start doing just that. My kids are growing up wayyy too fast, I'll never see them this little again, unless of course I take tons of pictures of them.

July is almost over and well, I have been trying to stay away from instagram and facebook. I just feel like you can sit there for hours and not even realize it. Got myself a new hobby. NETFLIX!!! Sheesh I am hooked to  Orange is the New Black and of course I am catching up on PLL. I guess my hobby is not very productive, but after a long day of parenting, it is well deserved.

Things I did since I last blogged:

1. It was my birthday on July 14th ... THE BIG 25!
2. I went to whole Frozen thing at MGM studios aka Hollywood studios. Ugh I loved it soo much! I literally got goosebumps seeing how happy all the kiddies were (and the parents seemed more excited than they did!)
3. I bought Isabella her schools uniforms ;-[ ugh I will miss her so much. I am worried about Julianna (her little sis) missing her too. They are the bestest friends.
4. I had an interview to get funded for my Master's in Special Education (I am kind of regretting going back to school, mostly because my thyroid is slowly killing me).
5. I went swimming at my parents pool. My kids had a blast but I think I had a bigger blast. I felt like a kid all over again doing cannon balls and handstands. You only live once right?
6. My husband took me to watch Hercules. Not so bad I must say.
7. Lucas is growing so much. He says TETE . His first word. It means bottle in Colombian (lol)
8. I am planning two birthday parties for the month of November: Thomas and Friends & Frozen (I am also secretly planning Julianna's party too even though it is not until March because it is minion themed!)
9. Isabella and Julianna finished summer dance classes. They are so cute!
10. I am so sad Lucas is growing up so fast. Here s my little beach hottie (even though we were at the pool).

 

Saturday

I have looked everywhere for my camera and have no idea where I placed it. How ANNOYING.I have looked everywhere. I wanted to take pictures of Isabella's drawings and of Lucas wearing his flag pants. I wanted to take pictures of Julianna and her beautiful hair... I guess it'll have to be another day.

Today was a bit crazy. Last night we got home at 1am after having dinner with my brother in law. The baby woke up at 6:30a and I was convinced he would go back to sleep. Nope! So I went to Wally's and he decided to stay awake and be awake all through the girls dance class also. Which is fine. I know he was super tired though. He fell right to sleep on the way home.

I got home, gave the girls breakfast and 2 hours later, popped in a pizza for lunch per Isabella's request. I had a hair appt at 1pm so with all the kiddies I went.

At home we barely did much. I did however do my own little obstacle course and we played " We're going on a Bear Hunt". Isabella loved it! Julianna was a bit scared of the bear, and Lucas just went along with it.

All of a sudden it was time for dinner so I made hot dogs. We ate so unhealthy today. I was sooo tired. The whole hypothyroid thing is killing me slowly. I swear that's what it feels like.


INTERESTING QUOTES OF THE DAY:

Me: "Isa do you need to go potty?"
Isa: " Do YOU need to go potty?"

hahahahha. My little 3 year old.

Hello you!

Welcome to my blog & of course my first post. I have tried blogging a million times and I just can't seem to keep up with it so here goes nothing once again!
Overall it has been a good week. My husband and I have decided to make Wednesdays, our activity day with the kiddos... let's hope we can stick with the plan.
I spent like an hour at the book store yesterday... by myself. Something that hardly ever happens. I bought a planner to get ready for the school year since my oldest (Isabella) starts prek-3 at a Catholic school. Julianna will miss her sooo much. Of course so will I... and Lucas... and daddy.
Is it Saturday yet? It seems like all I look forward to is the girls dance class. Why? Well, they are just so darn cute in their uniforms, and at the same time I get 30 minutes outside of the studio with Lucas and I love to eat him up with kisses.

My 3 kiddies: (left to right) Isabella, Lucas, Julianna

at Julianna's 2nd birthday back in March of this year